How to Get the Most Out of Therapy?
Engagement, Consistency, and Personal Responsibility
Therapy is a proven and effective method for dealing with emotional and psychological challenges, but its success depends not only on the psychologist’s expertise but also on the active involvement of the client. Research shows that factors such as consistency, honesty, and engagement significantly impact the therapeutic process. However, some people unintentionally sabotage their progress by neglecting these key aspects.
Let’s explore the key factors that everyone needs to invest in therapy to achieve the greatest progress.
Consistency and Regularity: Why Missing Sessions Undermines Progress
Regular attendance at therapy sessions is a key factor for the effectiveness of the process. According to a 2009 U.S. study, clients who attend therapy consistently show better results than those who frequently cancel or miss sessions.
How missing sessions affect the process:
- Undermines the development of a therapeutic partnership—trust and connection between the client and the psychologist, which are crucial for success.
- Leads to disruption of progress.
- Increases the likelihood of prematurely ending therapy.
What you can do: Commit to attending your sessions even when you feel resistance. It’s important to show up not only when you feel the need, but also when it seems like there’s nothing to talk about.
Patience and Realistic Expectations: Therapy Is a Process, Not a Quick Fix
Many clients begin therapy expecting quick results. In reality, changes in thinking and behavior take time. Research by Hansen, Lambert, & Forman (2002) shows that it typically takes at least 12 to 16 sessions to observe significant improvements for most people.
Common mistakes:
- Discontinuing therapy after 2-3 sessions because “there are no visible results.”
- Expecting specific advice rather than working on self-insights.
- Disappointment occurs when difficult topics cause emotional discomfort.
What you can do: Accept that therapy is a long-term process that requires consistency. Appreciate small steps toward progress, instead of seeking immediate transformations. Understand that change doesn’t happen instantly, and that the path to personal growth is gradual. Every bit of progress, even the smallest, is important because it leads to sustainable and lasting results. Be patient with yourself and focus on the process, not just the end goal. This will help you maintain motivation and strengthen your commitment to therapy, which is crucial for success.
Active Engagement: Therapy Is Not Passive Listening
Effective therapy isn’t just about the client talking while the psychologist listens. Clients who actively participate in sessions—ask questions, reflect on topics, and complete tasks between sessions—achieve better outcomes (Norcross & Wampold, 2011).
What sabotages engagement?
- Passive participation without real commitment.
- Lack of effort to apply what is learned in real life.
- Expecting the psychologist to “fix” the problem without personal involvement.
What you can do: Treat therapy as a partnership. Take an active role in the process, including practicing recommended exercises and self-reflection between sessions.
Honesty and Openness: The Key to Deep Internal Work
Honesty is fundamental to effective therapy. When only “safe” topics are shared or key details are withheld, it limits the potential of the process.
How honesty affects therapy:
- Half-truths make it difficult for the psychologist to provide adequate support.
- Self-protective mechanisms such as avoidance or minimizing issues slow progress.
- A tendency to blame external factors (people, circumstances) without self-reflection reduces the effectiveness of therapy.
What you can do: Try to be as open as possible, even when a topic makes you feel vulnerable. If you feel resistance, you can say, “There’s something I’m hesitant to discuss.”
Taking Personal Responsibility: Therapy Is Not Just “Talking About Problems” Successful therapy requires the client to take responsibility for their own life and choices. The psychologist can guide, but they cannot make decisions for the client. Research shows that clients who consciously work on their behaviors and attitudes achieve better long-term results (Beutler et al., 2000).
What sabotages the process?
- Shifting responsibility for change onto the psychologist.
- Avoiding working on difficult topics.
- Leaving therapy at the first sign of discomfort.
What you can do: Actively seek the connection between therapy sessions and real life. Ask yourself, “How can I apply what I’ve learned outside the office?”
Skipping Exercises and Tasks Given by the Psychologist
One of the main factors that can sabotage the therapeutic process is when clients fail to complete the exercises and tasks that the psychologist provides. These tasks are not just additional or random; they are carefully selected and tailored to help the client develop new skills, improve self-reflection, and apply new approaches to daily life. Skipping these exercises can significantly slow down progress, leading to frustration and a sense of stagnation in therapy. While they may sometimes seem like “extra work” or something trivial, these tasks often represent the key element in changing behavior and thought patterns.
Clients need to recognize that these tasks are part of the healing process and should not be ignored. When we don’t engage with the exercises the psychologist offers, we miss the opportunity for important steps forward that can lead to lasting and sustainable changes in our lives. Additionally, engaging with these tasks shows commitment and a desire for growth, which is essential for the success of the therapeutic process.
Distraction from Phones: A Barrier to Full Engagement
In today’s technological world, one of the biggest distractions during therapy can be our phones. Whether it’s checking notifications or sending work messages, these distractions can significantly hinder the depth of the therapeutic process. When clients allow their phones to distract them during sessions, they miss the opportunity to fully engage in the conversation and reflect on important topics.
How phone distractions affect therapy:
- Reduces the client’s ability to be fully present during the session.
- Undermines the connection between the client and psychologist, limiting the effectiveness of the therapeutic alliance.
- Decreases overall attention, making it difficult to delve into important emotional or psychological issues.
What you can do: Commit to keeping your phone on silent or out of reach during sessions. Treat your therapy time as sacred and focus entirely on the therapeutic process. This small act of mindfulness will help you get the most out of the session and demonstrate respect both for yourself and the therapy process.
Therapy Works, But Only If You Work
The therapeutic process requires commitment, patience, and openness. Clients who show up regularly, actively engage, and are willing to do internal work are the ones who achieve the best results. On the other hand, missing sessions, lacking honesty, and expecting the psychologist to solve all problems without personal involvement significantly reduce the effectiveness of therapy.
If you want to get the most out of therapy, ask yourself the following questions: ✔ Do I attend my sessions regularly?
✔ Do I approach therapy with realistic expectations?
✔ Am I actively participating in the process?
✔ Am I ready to be honest with myself?
✔ Am I taking responsibility for my change?
Answering these questions can help you realize what more you can give to therapy to achieve the best results.