“Hardships are for shoulders strong enough to bear them.’ This proverb holds true for many, but for others, life’s challenges can feel overwhelmingly insurmountable. At times, it may seem as though we’re caught in a relentless downward spiral, with everything around us falling apart. So, what sets apart those who navigate adversity successfully from those who falter? Is it genetic predisposition, sheer luck, or perhaps a more resilient will to live? The reality is that each person responds to stress and life’s obstacles in their own way, shaped by their unique personality and coping strategies. Our differences extend beyond personality and values; they also encompass the ways we handle setbacks and crises. Viktor Frankl, the founder of logotherapy and a seminal figure in existential therapy, famously asserted, ‘If there is meaning in life at all, there must be meaning in suffering.’

In 1942, Frankl was deported to a Nazi concentration camp with his wife, parents, and other family members. He endured internment in four different camps, including Auschwitz, from 1942 to 1945, and emerged as the sole survivor of his family. After his liberation and return to Vienna in 1945, Frankl published a book expounding on his theories, based on his harrowing experiences in the camps. His ordeal deepened his conviction that even in the most absurd, painful, and dehumanizing circumstances, life retains its meaning, and so does suffering. This meaning is unique to each individual.

Frankl recounted, ‘I was number 119104 and spent most of my time digging and laying tracks for railways. Our focus in the camp was singular: to survive for the sake of those waiting for us and to support each other. We must remember that even in the direst circumstances, we can find meaning in our existence. When faced with an unchangeable fate, we still have the power to find purpose.‘

Consider the story of Irina, who has faced formidable life challenges:

‘My family was impoverished, and I had to grapple with suicide, mental illness, and domestic violence. Two of my family members succumbed to alcoholism. Although I aspired to follow in my grandmother’s footsteps as a teacher, I soon realized it wasn’t my calling, which left me feeling like a failure. I struggled with writing and experienced a failed first marriage and job. Returning to university at 42 among students 20 years my junior was daunting. Additionally, I endured a traumatic attempted rape when I was younger, which left me deeply scarred. However, with the help of psychotherapy, I have turned my life around. I graduated from university, started my own business, and found happiness with a loving husband, despite my previous reluctance to remarry.’

— Irina, 54

What enables Irina to overcome her adversities while others might not? The answer lies in her story’s blend of challenges and triumphs. Key factors in her resilience include:

• Support from loved ones
• Actively seeking and engaging in treatment for depression and PTSD
• Experiencing joy and success despite hardships
• Finding meaning and purpose in her journey forward

Irina reflects, ‘Looking back, I realize that my family members struggled due to a lack of support and understanding about depression and alcoholism. The support I received was crucial to my success.’

Indeed, our ability to handle adversity is influenced by personal traits and genetics, but it is significantly shaped by our environment and the people around us. Parents, siblings, peers, and educators play a vital role in molding who we are and how we confront life’s challenges.

Life is inherently difficult, and everyone will encounter their own trials. You don’t have to face them alone. Consulting a psychologist can provide valuable support in navigating life’s difficulties and discovering new paths forward. While challenges bring pain and fear, they also offer opportunities for growth, courage, and happiness.

As Viktor Frankl said, ‘If we accept the challenge to suffer bravely, life has meaning until its last moment.’

Whether you are dealing with the loss of a loved one, divorce, serious illness, job changes, or other significant life events, remember that support is available. Reach out for help and tap into your inner strength to move forward. As a psychologist, I am here to help you explore your unique experiences and find a path to healing and fulfillment. Together, we can work towards understanding and overcoming your difficulties.