As a child, I was always shy and sensitive, but I didn’t know what social anxiety was until I saw a psychologist. I thought my shyness was an unchangeable part of who I was, so I didn’t even try to address it. I had resigned myself to the idea that I was simply unlucky, and I hoped for better luck in another life. For years, I suffered in silence, feeling embarrassed and ashamed, unable to reach out for help. I grew up believing that talking about feelings was a sign of weakness. When I tried to share my struggles with others, I was often misunderstood or dismissed with comments like “Just get over it” or “Why do you care what others think?”

Nikolai, 22

It was then that I realized sharing your need for help and talking about your feelings is one of the bravest things you can do. Seeking help is the first step toward change. Pretending everything is fine when it isn’t makes it impossible for anyone to assist you. Shockingly, statistics show that most people suffer in silence for about ten years before seeking help for social anxiety. This is unfortunate because social anxiety is a treatable condition. My life transformed when I sought help. Through therapy, I met someone else dealing with social anxiety who showed me it wasn’t a life sentence. Once I believed I could overcome it, everything changed for me.

Social Anxiety Disorder

Social anxiety typically begins before adulthood and can be a crippling condition, but it is highly treatable. Formerly known as social phobia, social anxiety is characterized by low self-esteem, overwhelming feelings of restlessness, and excessive worry in everyday social situations. People with social anxiety experience persistent, intense fear of being watched and judged by others, fearing humiliation from their own actions. Anticipating social situations can trigger anxiety for days or weeks in advance. This fear can interfere with school, work, and daily life, making it difficult to form new relationships and maintain existing ones.

Symptoms of Social Anxiety:

• Physical Symptoms: Flushing, sweating, shaking, slurred speech, nausea, or other stomach discomfort.
• Emotional and Cognitive Symptoms: Persistent fear of social situations, excessive worry about being judged, and avoidance of interactions that might lead to evaluation by others.
• Behavioral Symptoms: Avoiding social situations or enduring them with intense anxiety, negatively impacting social, academic, and occupational functioning.

Social anxiety often runs in families and can be accompanied by depression or other mental disorders, such as panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or avoidant personality disorder. Some individuals may turn to alcohol or drugs for temporary relief, which can lead to addiction.

Understanding the Causes

The exact cause of social anxiety is unknown, but it likely results from a combination of environmental and genetic factors. Traumatic experiences such as mental abuse, family conflicts, or physical abnormalities like an imbalance of serotonin in the brain can contribute significantly. The amygdala, a small structure in the brain, is thought to play a role in controlling fear responses and anxious thoughts. Studies suggest that heightened sensitivity to disapproval may have physiological or hormonal roots, while childhood abuse or a controlling environment can also increase risk.

Social anxiety can affect children, although distinguishing it from normal shyness can be challenging. Signs in children include intense crying, avoidance of interaction, fear of attending school, and dependence on caregivers. Social anxiety can cause extreme anxiety in everyday activities like playing with peers or speaking in class.

Effective Treatment Options

Fortunately, social anxiety can be effectively treated. Research shows that psychotherapy Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly successful in treating severe social anxiety. CBT aims to reduce anxiety by challenging beliefs and behaviors that sustain the disorder. A key element of CBT is exposure therapy, which involves gradually facing feared situations to build confidence and develop constructive responses to fear and disapproval.

As a psychologist with years of experience in helping individuals overcome social anxiety, I offer a compassionate and tailored approach to therapy. If you are struggling with social anxiety, I am here to support you in taking the first step toward change. Together, we can work on developing strategies to manage anxiety, build self-confidence, and improve your quality of life. Remember, seeking help is a courageous act, and it can lead to profound transformation.